I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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