Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So much Jack, so little girl.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Success! We fucked roommates!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
