Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
organizing the empties. That sober.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
