She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
