i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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