Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
