:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
