Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
