She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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