definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
