Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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