i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
