Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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