Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
