I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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