...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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