Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
