So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
