Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
