I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
