2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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