No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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