Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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