There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
