I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
