Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
