Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
