Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
