I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
