she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
