he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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