You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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