I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
