Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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