nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
