she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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