Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
