Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
