too bad you live with your parents still
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
