Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
