vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
