I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
