I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
