He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
