omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
