I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
