its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
