8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
