Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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