normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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